Are We Still Friends?

Hello First Grade, soon to be Second Grade Families!

I can't believe we have so little time together.  We are having so much fun.  This week has been especially beautiful because we have started and ended each day with POLs. These have been so special.  I was so excited to see what topic the students chose to share about and present.  They have rose to the occasion.  It is amazing to hear them reflect on their learning and what they now know about how they learn and what works best.  They also thought out the hard parts and were honest to be able to share these with us.  Each student has done such an amazing job.

We also said good-bye for now to Elliana.  Her family is heading out early on a road trip to visit her family in Kentucky.  Where is Kentucky?  We might use this as our next state to investigate.  When Elliana said the name of this state, the students were in awe.  It was as if she said she was going to Paris.  The class's interest in states has made each one seem so exotic and interesting.  We can't wait to hear all about how her trip was.

For some students this was the first time it hit home that change is coming.  A few of our students may be moving so they were not able to say, "See you in second grade".  This reminds us all that the end of the year will mostly be about seeing each other next year, but for a few it will be a chance to make plans to keep in touch when they are at their new school.  This group of friends are connected so this can be hard!

Last week we had another important class council discussion.  Two girls shared some ideas they had collected about their friendship.  Ocean and Bridget had privately discussed feelings about how they could be close friends and make all this time together work.  They agreeded upon a plan that they would commit to and I wrote it down.  Because the discussion was so rich and their plan making so thorough, I asked the girls if they would share their agreements on how to talk things out as friends.  They liked this idea.  Here is what they summarized about how we work things out at IA:

Goal: To keep from arguing, you check in in this way.

Find a calm spot and make sure each friend is ready to talk in a medium/nice/strong/calm voice.

1)One person goes first to speak their feelings

2)The other person speaks their feelings after.  *With both of these first two steps the other person is listening and looking while the friend speaks.

3) Share what you want to change- each person goes.

4) If you need to apologize, you might.   (This is where it needs to come from the person and making someone apologize will probably not be authentic, so asking if they need anything and doing something for them that they asked may be more meaningful than the word, "sorry"- see below)

5) Each person sees if the other is okay and listens to their needs.  "Do you need anything?"

6) Share ideas on a plan for next time and agree on this.

The girls also said, "If you go and play and this doesn't work, you have to meet again." So keep up the talking things through and trying to create solutions.

When the group heard their ideas they agreed that these in fact are the steps we agree on continuing, so that each person feels heard and both can make plans to follow for the future.  At the end of this reminder discussion, we talked about the concept of having a break from friends.  Bridget had brought up at one point that she wanted to spend time with more than one friend, because she knew there were others that she wanted to get to know more. But Bridget was torn, would her close friend, whom she spends so much time with, think they are no longer friends?  The class shared their feelings that sometimes they did worry that this could be true.  We talked about this, but this will have to be an ongoing process of learning the dynamics of deep friendship!

I want to publish this, so this is all for now.  There is so much going on each day, it's hard to write about it all.  The best practice is to keep coming in when you drop off or pick up and have your child tell you about the work in progress!  I have been having such computer problems of it shutting down or going so slow, so I apologize that this post took longer to get up!  Have a lovely week and see you next week at Family Night on Wednesday!!!  

Love, Jennifer