Reflection and Honesty.

Hello First Grade Families!

Thank you to the families who are volunteering to help out with typing things up and getting ready to finalize our projects.  This helps a lot!  I can't wait to see them put together.

This week we used a class council to discuss something that I have seen often lately.  I shared two stories in which anonymous students chose to call a person a baby or fat.  In one of these stories, other friends joined in in the name calling.  When I shared each of these two short stories, much of the class had a surprised reaction.  I could see that the students were uncomfortable to think that the people who had called these names were people in our class.  Our next step was to take some time to go around and express how we feel when we call other names.  

This class council was especially poignant because I could feel that each of the students were deeply engaged and listening to the honesty that everyone was sharing.  No one in our class passed- everyone shared about how they were feeling in a time in their life when they had called someone a name.  Such important work,  to be reflecting on where we are coming from when we are doing something we do all agree isn't the goal.  It is especially important for children to feel they can have a safe space to share their feelings where they don't feel punished or in trouble. The idea behind this is to create personal awareness so that we can overcome urges we don't want to give into in the future.  

Before I share the notes from the meeting, I wanted to share my reflections. I noticed a few common themes in the feelings shared.  One theme we saw was that sometimes we are calling a name because of our own anger, sadness, or feeling of upset.  While other times we are calling a name because other people are doing it and you have different reasons at these times, fear that others won't like you, feeling you are not brave enough to speak out against it or a momentary nice feeling of camaraderie.  Another theme was that there is an initial feeling you have, at the time when you are calling someone a name, and then there is a feeling after the fact, later on.  It was interesting to see how many friends identified with each other's comments and how they all agreed that the secondary feeling was a more lasting one.  A friend even commented later at how those secondary feelings are so hard to fix!  It was neat when one student explained that calling names can be our fastest reaction and other choices are not as fast.  Isn't that sometimes the case?

Here are the notes about what the students said they felt when they call names:

(Amy and I shared our feelings, too)

1) I was trying to feel better than that person.

2) I was feeling sad or mad a them.

3)I think it feels fun, but then it feels bad.

4) It made me feel angry.

5) I was happy, then I was sad.

6) I felt better than them.

7) It felt bad after I did it and when I did it, I felt like I was a little better.

8) I felt really scared or sad.  I noticed it wasn't that funny when they were sad.  I was too scared to be the person to stop calling names.

9) I felt kind of nervous.

10) I felt kind of happy at first, because it was funny, but then it felt bad.

11) I felt sad and a little bit made.  They had hurt my feelings.

12) I felt really bad after and I was with big kids and they used bad words.  I wanted to feel like I was part of the group.

13) I was upset at first, because people were bothering me so I got mad and called them names.  I get so mad that I don't know what to do.  Calling names comes faster than other choices.

14)  First, I felt like I was better, but then i didn't like myself as much.

15) I felt sad because I didn't want to and wanted to at the same time.  I was trying to make them as sad as me.

16) At first, it's really funny, but then they look really sad and I feel sad and I wish I didn't do it.

17) I felt kind of sad because it really hurt their feelings.

18) I thought it was funny, so I joined in.  After, I felt mad.

19) At the start, it felt funny, but at the end, I felt bad for the person.

20) At first I felt like I didn't have anything to do, so I called someone a bad name because I was in a bad mood.

21)  Most times, someone had made me feel bad so I called them a mean name to make them feel bad too. I wanted them to feel as bad as I did.

22) It felt not good inside.  I felt happy that I called someone fat, but not good after.

23) I felt kind of good, 'cuz they were doing it to me, but a little bit later, I felt bad.

24) At first, I felt angry, so I called her a name and then she called me a name so I felt even madder.

25) I felt really bad for them.  I felt kind of happy, 'cuz he kept picking on me.

When was the last time you called someone a name?  

What  were your feelings and motivations?

Another awesome moment this week were the "gallery walks" we did,  for friends to share their work from the Interesting Animal Project.  The students shared their information, explained their work and answered questions.  So many students were admiring the effort each child displayed.  There are  many elements of this work that is impressive.  These students are amazing!

The students enjoyed doing some follow-up research about butterflies after the field trip last week.  The were excited to learn more about the butterflies they held.  

Here is a neat website we used:  Click here!

I  wish you a beautiful night together.  Love, Jennifer